26 July 2010
Now I know that I am clumsy. I will freely admit that. But it turns out that clumsiness and falling into adventures you'd rather not have, go hand-in-hand here in Rwanda. What on earth is she talking about you might ask. Well...here it a run-down on my weekend, which was planned as a nice relaxing getaway to Lake Kivu to visit the lovely Allie. Turns out, the best laid plans of mice and men, go completely haywire in Rwanda.
Firstly I go to catch my bus having been promised that the Belvedare buses to Gisenyi are large and spacious. YEAH RIGHT! I am in a a bus not much larger than a mini-van, crammed at the front in a space where my knees are practically in my mouth and there is a near riot when, from what I could discern from the yelling and not the Kinyrwanda, the bus company had over-booked the trip and people were almost on top of one another.
Ok, not so bad you might say. Well then smarty pants, add to this the fact that one woman on the bus has the Rwandan equivalent of Fran Drescher's (aka 'The Nanny') voice and insists on both yelling and cackling at the people behind her on the bus. Then, the singing started. Oh yes, Rwandans singing gospel songs in a small space is nice for the first few songs. 3 and half hours of it, non-stop???? Not so fabulous. Now to add to the strangeness (and actually the painfulness of the trip) a policeman got on for the last 1 1/2hrs. He sat in front of me with his laptop so that he could watch a movie. Picture this....
behind you are 20 people singing gospel and yelling Yego, Amen, behind you.
in front of you and beside you, a group of men watching a movie that has huge amounts of sex, nudity and oh that's right, more sex.
It was honestly the weirdest experience ever!
Well that was of course until our bus driver threw on the brakes without warning, skidded to the gravel side of the road and almost ran over to poor girls who were walking on the side of the road at the time. What I had missed and didn't understand in the excitement, was that the lead car for the President's fleet of cars had driven past us warning us to pull over. This caused a hell of a lot of excitement on the bus and people were cheering, leaning out the windows and chattering non-stop in the still foreign language. Finally we hear sirens and horns and watch as SUVs pass us, with the President's very conspicuous and well-known town car flashing it's lights at those on my bus leaning out the windows. Talk about fanfare and the first of my near heart-attacks for the weekend.
So I get to Gisenyi and have a lovely weekend of over-indulgence in everything edible and drinkable with Allie, including MUESLI, oh if ever you are in Rwanda for a long period and crave an amazing breakfast, go to the Serena. We had 2 hours of eating amazing food and drinking champagne. So good.
Sunday night comes and I get on the bus. Incident number one...a lady who cannot stomach travel and proceeds to cover the side of the bus in the food she had eaten that day. This actually didn't stop her from buying brochettes, chips and bread when we stopped briefly halfway through the trip. Then, about 5 mins away from Kigali we are stopped at a military checkpoint. Everyone is ordered off the bus by men with rather large guns (and I don't mean biceps) who are unsmiling and unfriendly and want us to show our id. This all goes smoothly until they enter the bus and start checking the bags are left on there. I had a moment of terror when I realised that my suitcase was locked and small enough that it could cause alarm. Thankfully it was a false alarm and after 10mins we were shoved back on the bus and allowed to continue.
Ok so far so good. I am in one piece, arrive in town unscathed at 9pm and look for a taxi home. Two men wearing dog collars offer to share a taxi with me back to Kacyiru. Sure, what harm can come from travelling with men of god. Don't you believe it. Getting near Kacyiru I hear a rather alarming clunking coming from the back wheel on my side. After seeing the terror starting to take residence on my face, the driver pulls over and checks the tyre. He says something to the brothers as he gets back in the car and continues. Ok I think, it must be a loose piece of metal or something harmless. We get about a km from my house and the brothers get out...leaving me with the taxi bill. Argh
My heart pounding at the near accident I slowly climbed out of the car and looked back at the damage we had caused to the car and the road. The taxi driver then asks me what I am going to do...to which I reply that I can't fix it, it's not my fault, I will not assist him and refuse to pay the 3000RF he insists the trip costs. Given that I now have to walk home in the dark I refuse, hand him 1000 so that he doesn't chase me down the road, and start dragging my suitcase grumpily down the road.
Oh Rwanda. Life is never dull. Today though I think I will avoid public transport and let my feet do the walking...
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